Sympatico / MSN Health & Fitness : Weight Loss : Laughter Truly is the Best Medicine

We always knew this, right, Gentle Reader?

I have bought a van, a 1999 Chevy Venture.
I have joined the legions of foolish thousands who are in debt for a depreciable commodity! But I could find nothing good for cash on hand. I am financing $5K, $80 biweekly for three years, and paying the balance in cash.
Hubs was Googling old high school friends and our female Japanese professor guest on Friday.
I did this, too, once. Tried to look up the temptations about whom I have written. See archives.
That was when I thought we would be breaking up.
But since we have met with the counselling couple from church, I have committed to hang in there, and I am not looking anymore.
But Hubs has chosen to keep looking.
I asked him why, and we fought.
He doesn't like it that I am suspicious.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked.
"I was bored," he said.
"Why didn't you ask me for the Prof's info?" I press.
I correspond with her.
I was home on that day quite a lot between shifts.
He had to lift up my laptop and rifle through my papers to find her business card for her proper name, yet never thought to mention to me that he wanted to get in touch with her.
He got angry and left.
I got angry and left as well.
Thought about going to my parents.
NO.
Visiting the counselling couple.
No.
Going to a bar?
Forget that!
I went to my old refuge, the Art Gallery, where I spent many a quiet day gazing at the sometimes incomprehensable works of art on exhibition. Where I first had life drawing classes with actual unclothe people. And they were real people, not objects, but people who needed bathroom breaks, got cold, had to use the phone, who could a joke or make conversation, as if the WEREN'T the focus of twenty or so pairs of detail-driven eyes. Those were some of my best and boldest drawings. Later, things got so serious, and I lost my lyric line. I have very good memories of the Art Gallery. Where I was treated as an equal while still a teen, with respect, and my drawings were discussed on par with every other artist in the class.

Admission used to be free, now it's $6. While there, I decided to take in the Cannes Lion awards at 7PM that night - the funniest and best ads of the previous year. Since they are usually very funny, I knew I would have some good laughs. And we all know how good laughter is for the soul, Gentle Reader.

I went to the Forks for dinner, looked at the statue of Ghandi that India has donated to our as-yet unbuilt Human Rights museum, almost lost my wallet, and went to the Nook, which used to be a Salsbury House I used to frequent after school for Cokes and Fries on my way to the Sherbrooke Pool, the warmest pool in our city. A great treat in the wintertime, with free hot showers that nobody ever bothered to turn off. Oh, I cringe at the waste now that I pay the bills, alright.

I had pie and tea at the Nook, and the staff there were so funny in the way they kibbitzed arround with the customers and each other...

I think I went a little crazy that day.

I went back to the AG in time to find parking for the show, and there he was.
With a seat saved for me.
No. NO!
No way, "Googlemeister!"
I took my own seat, two rows down, made friends with the old lady beside me, and got ready to enjoy the show.
I was not disappointed. There were some great laughts, some of the best from other countries.

Getting close to the end, Hubs took a seat beside me.
I guess he thought if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
After the show, he stuck close to me. But I am angry, and I have the right to be. I leave him in the rain - I am going to the safehouse, and I am never looking back. I had made contingency plans, and I didn't have to go home with someone who was sneaking again. But I promised to hang in there. I am torn. What do I want? I WANT HIM TO STOP LOOKING FOR OTHER WOMEN ON THE INTERNET. I always find out, and it hurts. Why does he keep doing it, knowing this?
I loop back, looking for him in the October rain. Nowhere in sight. I look again. I see him. I pull up beside him, and he gets in. Will I just drop him off and go to the safehouse?
I think I went a little crazy in the car. I told him I WANT HIM TO STOP LOOKING FOR OTHER WOMEN ON THE INTERNET. He promised, and I came home.
I love my family, my sons. I love my home I have worked so hard for, in every way.
Even if he stops looking on the internet, might he just keep looking in his thoughts? I talk to the female half of the counselling couple. She believes that this behavior sounds compulsive and suspicious, hardly the action of someone serious about rebuilding trust in his marriage. She wonders, to me, what would happen if I did nothing when I find such evidence. IF I DID NOTHING?
I might have understood it if she said, SAY nothing to him, but pray. I can't tell you how often I have done THAT. But to DO nothing when you find a sin only encourages continuance of the sin, I find. Especially if the sinner knows that you have seen, and by choice said nothing. Silence is assent - an old Roman legal precept. Even the ancient Old Testament condemns the female who is attacked in the city, and doesn'y cry out.
Silence is the accomplice of wrongdoing.

Her final advice?

Hang in there!

Okay, I'm hanging in... but not silently.