Beliefnet.com -- Today's Bible Reading
Today's Bible reading, the widow who would be vindicated.

I am determined to be vindicated, too.

God visited me a couple of nights ago.
I was praying in my bed, and I got to worshipping Him for being so amazing. His presence came to me, and He smiled on me, and He healed my right jaw (tooth grinding, tight molars, slow decalcification) by directing calcium to the the needy areas.

He also healed my right hand in the first set of joints, which bear the brunt of the wear and tear of my work.
I could see it all as if in The Incredible Journey, as it was happening.
He radiated His love on me, and the healing came on me in those two places.
I didn't deserve it - I wasn't even that aware that I needed it, although I did - and He just gave it to me.

I felt so loved!

I am trying to love Hub, to find the Love Language that speaks to his heart.
He has been rejecting my overatures.
I hear "Not tonight Josephine", more often that Josephine!
I am a beautiful fourty-something woman, and I am feeling VERY womanly.
I wish he would avail himself of the opportunities this circumstance provides!
I think he enjoys being hard-to-get, an enigma, making people try to unlock him, figure him out.
It's actually an attention getting device, I think.
A way of being in control.
The less he says, the smarter he can look.
Hub has enjoyed being the dark horse often.
Because he usually gives no opinion before an event or issue, he can treat everyone to his 20/20 hindsight later.
He used to be much worse, but he is willing to risk an opinion more often now.
What a relief! Even if I don't like his opinion, at least I know where I stand.

I was writing about Hub's cruel way with words last Blog.
Another zinger?

Just after our second son's birth, the nurse came around to educate me about tubal ligations, in case the experience of giving birth had soured me on having any more kids.
I had a fantastic birth experience, and my baby was so beautiful, that I was amazed anyone would want suggest a stop to production when everything was going so well.

I was ready to beat Cheaper by the Dozen!

I told Hub about it later, and he said that maybe I should think about it.
I thought my body had been through enough and I asked him if he would consider a vasectomy.
"No," he said.
"I might want to have more children later."
"Oh," I replied.
"WITH WHOM?"

I don't want to be unfair.
When I have told Hub that his words have wounded me, he has often apologised.
Sometimes it took a lot of evidence of pain, like tears, or the risk of someone else hearing what he'd said before he would say "sorry".
Sometimes he has been truly and touchingly sorry. It's easy to forgive him, then.
However, I think that his apologies are mainly along the lines of;
"I am sorry if you are hurt by what I said (But it's just too bad, - the truth hurts, don't it!)"

Yeah.
I'm sorry, too.