Sympatico / MSN Health & Fitness : News : Average American is 1 inch taller, 25 pounds heavier than 40 years ago

Bigger is NOT better.

Don't be too short for your weight, Dear Gentle Reader.
Live longer - Don't be super-sized.

Hubs and I just bought a new mattress & spring set. What says "committment" more than buying something that comes with a ten-year guarantee?
Our old mattress & spring set wore out partly because of our difference in weight, although I turned AND flipped the mattress at least twice a year for even wear.

I was heavy and he wasn't.
Now the tables are turned, and Hubby has become a little tubby.

The thing comes with a 20" TV...
We have an extra VCR...
Welcome to the Love Nest Home Theatre!
I will stage a private Chick Flick Festival, complete with chocolate bon-bons, roses and wine.
He can have a Martial Arts Marathon with ??? Beer? Saki? Snacky?
Eating, lazing about, flipping the remote...
Isn't that how we all collectively got to be an average of 25 lbs heavier?

Maybe we'd just better give that TV to charity or something...

Sympatico / MSN Travel Canada : Travel News : American cruise to get Canadian flu shot a success

I just got my flu shot.
I am a healthcare worker, so I get mine free.
But we are starting to run out.
Perhaps those who are most at risk will not get their shot this winter.
How long can these cheap Canadian tours last?
A great exchange rate is one thing, but if we abuse our contracts with suppliers, they will want to renegotiate at higher rates.
After all, we are taking a lot of business away from them in their USA contracts, negotiated differently for a different system, currency and population.

Evetually, somebody pays the shot.

Travelzoo

If this site comes up intact, then you'll see an offer to fly return to Amsterdam for a four-night stay.

What would you do in Amsterdam?

That I could read with filters on?

I would want to stay longer than four days. I would also want to travel by train and bicycle around Europe.

Gentle Reader(s), why don't you tell me about your travel experiences?
I'd love to hear about your best & worst.

Hub and I are still on for our Anniversary trip to certain mineral springs in Saskatchewan.

Further to my last Blog, where I described our most recent fight...
I am thinking hard about the counsellor's advice.

I know I initially dissed it, but it's been on my mind all day for two days.

What do I gain from freaking out when Hub googles other females?
I have to watch that I don't give myself a heart attack.
Is the aggravation worth it?
Can I handle it differently?

What does he get, if anything, out of my freaking out?
He knows I always will find this kind of stuff, and ask about it.
Certainly, he sees that I care about the relationship.
Perhaps too much.
Does this assure him of my committment, or turn him on?
Considering two words: Passive Aggression.

If I did not check the computer, or didn't confront him if I did find something bad, would we be happier?
I MIGHT be happier - Ignorance is bliss. He would be out of my fire, but also alone with the problem, and the eventual consequences. But now that I know it's been a problem, how can I pretend it isn't there, wasn't there, or that it may come back?
Should I care if he looks, or what he looks at? If I care about his soul, I should.
I feel VERY strongly against sin - and I don't feel right or holy permitting or enabling it.
I have already concluded in the last blog that I can't keep him from THINKING about other females.
Heck, I concluded this YEEEEARS ago!
But it's WRONG to take these interests out from his fantasy into trackable reality

Would my ignoring this behavior make it an non-issue, or encourage him to go nuts on the 'net?
His behavior has been described to me as appearing compulsive. Think of a compulsive thief or liar. Do they cure their condition themselves if everyone ignores it? I don't think so! No-one has ever done well by putting Yogi Bear in charge of the picnic baskets. No lunch, plus a fat, dangerous bear!

Conclusion:

I will TRY not to freak out if I see evidence of bad things happening.
It's bad for me, and I don't have to go crazy over this stuff.
But I will talk about it.
With Hub.
And just for the record, with the counsellor.

Sympatico / MSN Health & Fitness : Weight Loss : Laughter Truly is the Best Medicine

We always knew this, right, Gentle Reader?

I have bought a van, a 1999 Chevy Venture.
I have joined the legions of foolish thousands who are in debt for a depreciable commodity! But I could find nothing good for cash on hand. I am financing $5K, $80 biweekly for three years, and paying the balance in cash.
Hubs was Googling old high school friends and our female Japanese professor guest on Friday.
I did this, too, once. Tried to look up the temptations about whom I have written. See archives.
That was when I thought we would be breaking up.
But since we have met with the counselling couple from church, I have committed to hang in there, and I am not looking anymore.
But Hubs has chosen to keep looking.
I asked him why, and we fought.
He doesn't like it that I am suspicious.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked.
"I was bored," he said.
"Why didn't you ask me for the Prof's info?" I press.
I correspond with her.
I was home on that day quite a lot between shifts.
He had to lift up my laptop and rifle through my papers to find her business card for her proper name, yet never thought to mention to me that he wanted to get in touch with her.
He got angry and left.
I got angry and left as well.
Thought about going to my parents.
NO.
Visiting the counselling couple.
No.
Going to a bar?
Forget that!
I went to my old refuge, the Art Gallery, where I spent many a quiet day gazing at the sometimes incomprehensable works of art on exhibition. Where I first had life drawing classes with actual unclothe people. And they were real people, not objects, but people who needed bathroom breaks, got cold, had to use the phone, who could a joke or make conversation, as if the WEREN'T the focus of twenty or so pairs of detail-driven eyes. Those were some of my best and boldest drawings. Later, things got so serious, and I lost my lyric line. I have very good memories of the Art Gallery. Where I was treated as an equal while still a teen, with respect, and my drawings were discussed on par with every other artist in the class.

Admission used to be free, now it's $6. While there, I decided to take in the Cannes Lion awards at 7PM that night - the funniest and best ads of the previous year. Since they are usually very funny, I knew I would have some good laughs. And we all know how good laughter is for the soul, Gentle Reader.

I went to the Forks for dinner, looked at the statue of Ghandi that India has donated to our as-yet unbuilt Human Rights museum, almost lost my wallet, and went to the Nook, which used to be a Salsbury House I used to frequent after school for Cokes and Fries on my way to the Sherbrooke Pool, the warmest pool in our city. A great treat in the wintertime, with free hot showers that nobody ever bothered to turn off. Oh, I cringe at the waste now that I pay the bills, alright.

I had pie and tea at the Nook, and the staff there were so funny in the way they kibbitzed arround with the customers and each other...

I think I went a little crazy that day.

I went back to the AG in time to find parking for the show, and there he was.
With a seat saved for me.
No. NO!
No way, "Googlemeister!"
I took my own seat, two rows down, made friends with the old lady beside me, and got ready to enjoy the show.
I was not disappointed. There were some great laughts, some of the best from other countries.

Getting close to the end, Hubs took a seat beside me.
I guess he thought if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
After the show, he stuck close to me. But I am angry, and I have the right to be. I leave him in the rain - I am going to the safehouse, and I am never looking back. I had made contingency plans, and I didn't have to go home with someone who was sneaking again. But I promised to hang in there. I am torn. What do I want? I WANT HIM TO STOP LOOKING FOR OTHER WOMEN ON THE INTERNET. I always find out, and it hurts. Why does he keep doing it, knowing this?
I loop back, looking for him in the October rain. Nowhere in sight. I look again. I see him. I pull up beside him, and he gets in. Will I just drop him off and go to the safehouse?
I think I went a little crazy in the car. I told him I WANT HIM TO STOP LOOKING FOR OTHER WOMEN ON THE INTERNET. He promised, and I came home.
I love my family, my sons. I love my home I have worked so hard for, in every way.
Even if he stops looking on the internet, might he just keep looking in his thoughts? I talk to the female half of the counselling couple. She believes that this behavior sounds compulsive and suspicious, hardly the action of someone serious about rebuilding trust in his marriage. She wonders, to me, what would happen if I did nothing when I find such evidence. IF I DID NOTHING?
I might have understood it if she said, SAY nothing to him, but pray. I can't tell you how often I have done THAT. But to DO nothing when you find a sin only encourages continuance of the sin, I find. Especially if the sinner knows that you have seen, and by choice said nothing. Silence is assent - an old Roman legal precept. Even the ancient Old Testament condemns the female who is attacked in the city, and doesn'y cry out.
Silence is the accomplice of wrongdoing.

Her final advice?

Hang in there!

Okay, I'm hanging in... but not silently.

Is every memory worth keeping? Pills to reduce mental trauma raise controversy ajc.com

IS every memory worth keeping?
Good question.
I have heard and seen and done and had done to me things I wish never happened.

I think we need our memories - even the awful ones. We are made sadder but wiser by our experiences.
Wiser still if we remember the lessons learned.

We survive.
We transcend.
We soften the bad stuff, airbrush it, repress it, even forget it.

So, to all the people in white labcoats in R&D, I'd rather manage my own memories, thanks all the same.

Here's one.
One Saturday, my Mom had taken us to the local museum. (I am the oldest of four, all born within four years!)
There is a theatre in the basement and a film was about to screen. It was about WWII, no rating posted, and someone told Mom she should see it. We were seated, and it was Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse Five".
I was what, in grade four, five, six? And I was the oldest, and there we five were, (I'm counting Mom here), wide-eyed and unsuspecting, sealed in our seats by hip University Lit students and avante garde film people.

I wasn't ready for the things I saw on that screen, or the way they made me feel.
Or I didn't think I was.
I was very concious of losing some of my childhood, and it disturbed me.

Is every memory worth keeping? Possibly, if everything that happens is part of a plan.
And maybe it is, in "Amelie"or "Butterfly Effect" -like patterns that we cannot see.

We are reading "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren at Church, Housegroup and at home.

How close am I to living in my purpose?
How close are you, Dear Reader?

Sympatico / MSN Health & Fitness : News : U.S. psychology prof finds 'truth wizards'; They know a lie when they hear it

SuperLiars and Truth Wizards - Know any, Gentle Reader?

I am constantly finding people in self-delusion, like the older person who says health care is for
REEALLY sick people, not them, as they nearly fall getting in or out of their chair.
Or like my Hub, who said the sudden coolness I noticed after his counselling appointment was due to his being tired.
A little more inquiry, and I found out that he'd been telling his counsellor that my Dad is emotionally & verbally abusive (He IS),
and that Hubs thinks that I am sometimes like him (I sure wouldn't choose to be!).

"Oh, do you feel like she's abusing you?"

Hey.
Hey, yeah.
THAT'S the ticket!

Instead of his mother,
Instead of his father (deceased),
Instead of himself, he can start by blaming ME.

And my Dad, who he doesn't like anyway.

"Why stir up all that pain and anger from the past?", he asked.
"What good does it do?"

Sure it hurts.
I felt hurt by the counsellor's question.
I have to think about it, not just block it like a Kung Fu kick.

Maybe I am becoming the thing I loathe the most.

It will take time to get to the heart of the whole matter.
And I'm vulnerable at a time such as this, too.
I wonder if he would get on with it quicker if I were not around; to blame, to distract, to hurt.

But I told him to make the second appointment.

Please, God, help us.

Dance class

Opening today!!
"Shall We Dance?"
Starring....MY town!
I'm going to see this much-anticipated movie (by ME, for one) tonight!

It's been a while, hasn't it, Gentle Reader?
My connection to the internet has been interrupted for either a router failure due to a surge, a short, or some other cause.

One other computer of the household total of five remained connected, with errors, throughout the downtime.
But I don't like committing my personal thoughts to a strange box.

All is well.
Hub and I continue in our marriage.
He is going to a counsellor.
I continue to shop for the clothing bank.
Thanksgiving was marvelous.
I tried a new pumpkin pie and apple dumpling which seems to have succeeded.
I've had a raise, and I have been offered a permanent part-time position where I work, result of the very good evaluation.

More later.

Science prize celebrates fish flatulence, hula hoops | CNET News.com

Hubbers sent me this link in an email, promising that I "heard it here first".
Oh, joy!
Gentle Reader, my life now has deeper meaning because I now know that fish can communicate by flatulent bubble.
The comic book artists had it right all along. Who knew?

The gender of said fish?
Probably male!

Right now, Hubs is hiding out in the bathtub, trying to renege on a promise to assist with the arduous task of Saturday morning grocery shopping.
I arose at 8:30, read the Sat. paper, solved the big crossword puzzle and the cryptogram, made the list (technically, HAD it made by oldest son while doing other work - delegation of labour! multi-tasking!)
and was all but ready to go.

Why do I need Hubs to go grocery shopping with me, when I could ask either of my sons?

I wanted to ask his opinion on something.
I don't want to pre-sell it until he sees it, because that has never been successful.
However, the IDEA that I want to wait until he sees it has so bothered Hubs, that he offered his opinion in advance, an unqualified NO to an unknown question.

Now he can feel powerful all day, having said NO to what he does not even know what he has said NO to.

He reads this Blog religiously, Reader, so I won't divulge here what I am wanting to present to him.

Only be content knowing this. It is not what he thinks, and he will feel very foolish later.